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March 30, 2021 2 min read

It’s common to abstain from drinking. Some people prefer a sober lifestyle, while others struggle with addiction. There’s a spectrum of reasons not to drink.

If you don’t indulge, should you let the groom drink when you’re sober? Here’s how to decide.

1. Be Honest With Yourself

It’s one thing if you abstain from alcohol because drinking makes you break out in hives. You don’t want to destroy your wedding photos with an inflamed complexion. You probably don’t care if your mate indulges — you might even join them once your guests depart.

However, you have to prioritize your recovery if you struggle with addiction. And your new spouse should support you in your sobriety. They probably don’t want to sabotage your well-being but could unwittingly do so.

Talk about staying sober on your wedding day before you arrive at the venue and they grab a champagne flute.

2. Surround Yourself With Sober Friends

Who’s on your guest list? If you surround yourself with sober friends, you have a better chance of remaining in recovery even if your new spouse indulges a little. Invite the folks from your support group if you think it won’t upset their recovery to attend.

However, research from the Framington Heart Study found that people are 50% more likely to drink heavily if they are closely connected with someone who does. If your spouse drinks, and so do your parents, cousins, and friends, you could feel alone.

Your partner should be willing to go without alcohol for one day to make you feel less lonely.

3. Be Mindful of Tradition

cocktails on table

What if your spouse always wanted a traditional wedding, complete with a toast? Who said that the bubbly has to go to your head? You could always serve non-alcoholic champagne — your guests who don’t indulge will thank you.

However, if your partner always dreamed of celebrating saying “I do” with a glass of Dom Perignon, don’t deprive them of the privilege. Given the sticker price, your budget will thank you for sticking with a single serving.

4. Present a United Front

Sometimes, your family of origin can present significant threats to your sobriety. If you already decided that you don’t want to exclude them from your guest list, your new spouse can help you present a united front.

If your dad starts going on about how his flesh-and-blood can have “just one” with him to celebrate, your spouse can remind them how far you’ve come in your sobriety. Later, you can laugh together at the foolish antics of those who should put down the bottle but don’t.

Should You Let the Groom Drink When You’re Sober? It All Depends

Whether or not you should let the groom drink when you’re sober depends on why you quit drinking in the first place. Your spouse should be there for you in your sobriety if you need a little extra support on your big day.